Charts can be a parent’s best friend. In fact, charts can be any caregivers best friend! Sometimes it is hard to know how to discipline those adorable chubby cheek toddlers. Here are some ideas for the pre-readers in your family so they can know what on earth you are talking about!

SUPPLIES:

• Small bulletin board
• Cut outs of a happy face and a sad face (print, cut, glue onto thin cardboard)
• Masking tape to divide the board into halves
• Cut outs of common activities (print, cut, glue onto thin cardboard)
• Thumb tacks

Here is how this works. All photos start on the “Happy” side of the board. Show your tot how awesome they are. Talk them up! Let them know you are so happy and that is why they can do all those happy things! “Oh how fun! What should we do first!?!” If they are under 4 years old, DO NOT yet present the other side until you go to use it. It is too much for them to retain just yet. When an infraction occurs such as not listening, being bold, etc…, walk them to the board and get down to their eye level, and explain what they did that was wrong. Then ask them what their favorite activity is on the board (I know…it’s cruel), and then let them know they cannot do it. You are moving it to the “Sad” side because they made you “Sad” by doing what they did. Have them help you move it. Doing = Learning = Responsibility. Ask them to apologize. Hugs, kisses, and move on! This is quick. There is no lecture. Keep the day moving. Next time you observe a positive behavior walk them to the board and get down to their eye level, and explain what they did that was right. Praise them and have them help you move the least favorite item back to the happy side, so whatever was the last one moved. Hopefully in time all the items will be on the happy side!

So why be cruel, you ask? Great question! In short, because you want to be effective. Their feelings change constantly. They may not even want to play outside so moving that piece would be ineffective. You want to give them what they need, not what they want. It is kind. Being fearful, not wanting them to cry, being overly sentimental about a minor privilege does not help either of you. As adults we work for what we want. If we do not do the work, we do not get what we want. Just as they will be unable to manipulate their bosses to paying them anyway, even if they have done an awful job, they shouldn’t learn they can manipulate you. It may make them short term happy but not long term happy. Long term happiness is grounded in security that is the fruit of firm boundaries.

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